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returntothepit >> discuss >> the perils of jerking off elephants by the_reverend on Mar 8,2007 11:11am
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Mar 8,2007 11:11am



toggletoggle post by Granny_Monster at Mar 8,2007 11:19am
Damnit! It's blocked : /



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Mar 8,2007 11:24am
oh man this is just LOADED with hilarious quotes -

" MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job..."

"Just touching a jumbo penis ... can have painful consequences"

“One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis."







toggletoggle post by Granny_Monster at Mar 8,2007 11:38am
FuckIsMySignature said:
oh man this is just LOADED with hilarious quotes -

" MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job..."

"Just touching a jumbo penis ... can have painful consequences"

“One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis."



Could you post the whole thing? Hmmmm?



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Mar 8,2007 11:42am
A jumbo tusk for scientists

By DEREK ROBINS
March 08, 2007


COMMENT ON THIS STORY

MASTURBATING an elephant in the cause of science isn’t an easy job – just ask wildlife expert Dr Thomas Hildebrandt.

Just touching a jumbo penis – they measure more than 1.5metres when aroused – can have painful consequences as German scientist Dr Hildebrandt reveals.

He said: “One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis.

“When you touch an elephant there it starts to flick backwards and forwards and it’s so strong it can knock you off your feet. It’s such a strong movement.”

Dr Hildebrandt, a world expert on elephant and rhino reproduction demonstrates how it should be done in BBC2’s Horizon: The Elephant’s Guide To Sex screened on March 20.

His mission is to help endangered species get into the mood for love and give them a hand - quite literally – to boost their dwindling populations.

In the programme, he bids to help elephants Jackson and Christy – who lives in US zoos 1,200 miles apart – to produce a baby.





It’s a messy business as he massages Jackson’s prostate gland to produce 300ml of semen per orgasm – the equivalent of a can of Coke – which has to be airlifted in giant condoms across America to Christy.

Artificially inseminating an elephant is just as messy – while a catheter is inserted into the cervix, the hapless scientist faces being pooed on.

All the mess is worth it to Dr Hildebrandt who said: “Lots of mammals are facing extinction and artificial insemination is very helpful in saving species.

“Man has created this annihilation of species; it’s up to man to use his ingenuity to save them.”

The programme will also look at the problem of getting semen from a sedated rare northern white rhino and viewers will meet killer whale Shamu who is only too happy to provide sperm samples in the name of science when his trainer shows him a special collection bag.




toggletoggle post by Yeti at Mar 8,2007 12:41pm
FuckIsMySignature said:
Just touching a jumbo penis – they measure more than 1.5metres when aroused – can have painful consequences


i've had to say the same thing to chicks in the past.



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Mar 8,2007 12:53pm
classy



toggletoggle post by passerby‘er at Mar 8,2007 1:11pm
PASSERBY'ER IS HUNG LIKE AN ELEPHANT



toggletoggle post by chris_from_shit_fuck  at Mar 8,2007 1:31pm
haha, great article. First thing I thought of was the song "raped by elephants" off of Torsofuck's Erotic Diarrhea Fantasy.



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