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returntothepit >> discuss >> a Story by Mr.Kok by powerkok on Sep 28,2004 2:19am
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toggletoggle post by powerkok   at Sep 28,2004 2:19am
Im listening to suffocation- torn into enthrallment
it brings me back to a simpler time, when I lived in Philly, was in an industrial band called Prototype Infinity, and all of my immediate family was still alive.

It reminds of a fun little story.
It was 1 am in center city, and I was drunk and bleeding from my hand.(thats a different story). me and my thai friend felt like lobster, where the hell do you get lobster at 1 am?? PHILLY. The chinese never sleep. So we venture into the unnaturally cool summer city night, on a quest for the shelled crustacean.
Well, we found a place and we ate lobster and had more drinks. I spilled a L.I. ice tea all over myself. So, now im wet at the crotch, and hammered and lobstered up. We make our way back to the truck and see a degenerate standing there. I have a very strong esp type thing goin, always have, and something told me, he wasnt just loitering there at 2 am.
In order to get to the truck, we have to walk by this guy..As I get closer, I see hes looking long and hard at us....not a good sign.
Before I go on, let me say that the FIRST thing I did when moving to Philly, was get a concealed weapons permit. So I was packing at ALL times...in the store, the bank, my job, drunk at the bar, everywhere.
Sure enough, said degenerate waits till were within 7-8 feet from him and says 'got a light?'
CMON!!??? got a light?? isnt that what every mugger in every mugger movie says????? So, without a seconds hesitation, I say 'yeah, I have a light"
As I open my jacket, I intentionally flash my .45, sitting dormant in a shoulder holster, just waiting to spit death on some cunt wanting to take what isnt his.
In a split second the guy turns around and RUNS!
Tell me he really wanted a light.

With that out of the way, we get in the truck, and decide, lets go home.
Easier said than done with 2 drunks at the wheel. Not being from the area, I have no idea where the fuck I am, and my navigator is mumbling in thai. We are sooo fucking lost.
I whip out my one hitter...Somehow I drop it. really wanting to get it back into its safe haven of my pocket, I decide to stop at a 7-11 and look for it.
While im looking for it with a flashlight under my seat, a car pulls in next to us, I thought nothing of it. My friend who was in the store...comes out, I look up, and notice the car next to me is a Philly cop and his partner. Great. Just get back in the truck, get tsungsun back in the truck, and go. Right?
Wrong...Tsungsun beelines to the cop car.
" hey, were lost, can u tell my friend how to get to south philly?"
I was going to jail for dui in philly with a pipe of pot in the car, that I still havent found.
Even at this drunken point in time, I pulled it together enough to come up with,
"I lost the directions somewhere and I cant find them...I think they fell under the seat....how do you get back to south philly?"
The next 2 seconds were agonizing....he knew I was shitfaced, I knew it...and I waited for that ever sickening, 'step out of the vehicle'
To my amazement, he says...
"take a right out of here and ....."
Did I fake my way out of a dui? It certainly was looking like it.
Sure enough after pretending to listen and understand his directions, we were off again. Aimless.
Miles later, I see a plane...A PLANE!!!!!
'were close to the airport!!" I said
" I know how to get home from the airport" I say
well...I start hauling ass thru side streets trying to follow a fucking airplane.
You wont believe this, but it worked. I felt like a drunken mc guyver.
The lights of the Philadelphia international airport glowed in the dark like gold dubloons to a pirate.
So there we are. now, how the fuck do you get out the airports winding and confusing roads?
I ended up driving over a parking barrier, because there were those tire popping spikes in the exit. A big fat black lady came running out and screaming 'what the fuck....etc"
Finally...I am homeward bound. I will be in my hood in less than 10 minutes.
Wrong. I have to drop off my friend.
So, I do, and as Im leaving, I see him get into his sisters car.
WTF?? why is he driving? and where?
I dont care at this point. I just want to go home. as I head up his block, I stop at a red light. Quicker than shit, I see headlights HAULING ASS right at me from behind. I had a half a second to let off my brakes, trying to minimize the impact.
BOOOOOM!!!
My buddy crashed into me with his sisters car.
He wanted to come over and smoke some pot.

Now, listening to this suffocation, instead of the pure sick feeling I had that whole night, I feel all warm and fuzzy, reminiscing of a time, although a very short time, that I had the world beat.
Thanks Suffocation.



toggletoggle post by the_taste_of_cigarettes  at Sep 28,2004 2:37am
that was deep

i actually read the whole thing, usually I just skim stuff.



toggletoggle post by kyledoes at Sep 28,2004 2:57am
lets watch golden girls!!



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Sep 28,2004 3:13am
i've gotten lost in the philly airport, does that count?

wonderful story, tho =)



toggletoggle post by Assuck   at Sep 28,2004 12:01pm
that story actually held my attention, which is no small feat.



toggletoggle post by powerkok   at Sep 28,2004 2:49pm edited Sep 28,2004 2:50pm
Im going to write a book eventually, called
Born to be Metal
It will chronologically follow my life from the age of 2.
I seriously have stories that I sometimes dont even believe.
but they are all 100% true and accurate.
They have made movies that are much less interesting.



toggletoggle post by the_taste_of_cigarettes  at Sep 28,2004 2:51pm
you should just call the book:

Jesse, Montana


that is a fucking astounding name. I still can't believe it's real!



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Sep 28,2004 2:51pm
you should do it =)



toggletoggle post by jellyfish at Sep 28,2004 4:25pm
philly airport is fucking huge.



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Sep 28,2004 5:02pm
there's like a fucking mall in there



toggletoggle post by jellyfish at Sep 28,2004 5:10pm
seriously.



toggletoggle post by Assuck   at Sep 28,2004 5:41pm
your name is jesse montana?

you should be a wrestler



toggletoggle post by Joe/NotCommon   at Sep 28,2004 6:19pm
haha amazing story.



toggletoggle post by retzam at Sep 28,2004 8:07pm
Hahahaha, yes, a very good story.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Sep 28,2004 9:00pm
the only think I don't like about this is that you are a cock sucker for driving while drunk, you fuck.
you should have been thinking about your kids and not driving.
dui and dwi super pisses me off.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Sep 28,2004 9:07pm
you should add that you lost family members due to drunk driving

was a cool story though



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Sep 28,2004 9:08pm
it is a cool story, for the surprise ending, but dwi is moronic.
just fucking stay at home.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Sep 28,2004 9:11pm
i don't know what the difference btwn DUI and DWI



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Sep 28,2004 9:12pm
Hmm.... yeah.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Sep 28,2004 9:12pm
DUI encompasses "other" things
DWI is just alcohol



toggletoggle post by retzam at Sep 28,2004 10:12pm
so... DUI = Driving Under Influence
what does DWI stand for??



toggletoggle post by Assuck   at Sep 28,2004 10:14pm
driving while intoxicated



toggletoggle post by Assuck   at Sep 28,2004 10:14pm
i think



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Sep 28,2004 10:15pm
driving while intoxicated

i just never knew the diff



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Sep 28,2004 10:15pm
yep



toggletoggle post by powerkok   at Sep 28,2004 10:45pm
ya, I know, I was wicked stupid for driving like that,
and I know it sounds cliche, but I really did drive well.
No excuse for it tho.



toggletoggle post by powerkok   at Sep 28,2004 10:47pm
Assuck said:
your name is jesse montana?

you should be a wrestler


hahaha
I hear that one alot...
along with a cowboy, a rock star, and a quarterback.



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