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:	post by DestroyYouAlot at 2007-08-01 15:52:43

Age 8 or so, Mothers Day: Making a jigsaw puzzle for mom on (appropriately enough) the jigsaw. Cut my thumb down to the bone. Mom's present became the privilege of sewing me up while my dad sat on my arm. Lucky lady.

A few months ago, scorpion bowling: Throwing a pretend drunken tantrum due to multiple gutterballs. I throw myself bodily to the ground, where, unbeknownst to me, there is a stray ball. Land on said ball a half an inch away from my tailbone, shooting the ball out from between my legs (hitting fellow scorpion bowler) and leaving a huge and ridiculous brownish-purple bruise right next to my buttcrack - it looked like I had shit my pants for a week or two. (Scorpion bowling, for the uninitiated, consists of consuming many scorpion bowls at the shitty Chinese place, then bowling many low-scoring frames at the shitty candlepin bowling place down the street.)

A few weeks later, getting dinner: As recounted HERE, I slipped on a freakin' envelope on the tile floor, went down HARD, and dislocated the fuck outta my shoulder. It still pops funny, sometimes.

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