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:	post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco at 2007-05-30 12:10:51

Q: What do you get when you light a dead baby on fire and kick it down a flight of stairs?
A: An erection.

Q. Why do you put a baby in a food processor feet first?
A. To see the expression on it's face.

Q: Why couldn't the baby turn around in the hall?
A: Because it had a javelin stuck through its head.

Q: What's more fun than nailing a baby to a fence?
A: Ripping it back off.

Q: What's red and goes around and around?
A: A baby in a garbage disposal!

Q: What is blue and gooey and crawls up a woman's leg?
A: A homesick abortion.

Q: What's red and white, and goes at speeds up to 40MPH?
A: A baby in a blender.

Q: What's pink and spits?
A: A baby in a frying pan.

Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

Q: What's easier to load on a truck: babies or bricks?
A: Babies... you can use a pitchfork!

Q: What is bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A: A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

Q: What is pink and red and silver and bumps into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: What is pink and red and gurgles?
A: A baby munching on razor blades.

Q: What's blue and sits in a corner?
A: A baby with a plastic bag over its head!

Q: What is brown, bubbly and scratches at the window?
A: A baby in a microwave.

Q: How do you cross an auditorium full of babies?
A: With a snow blower.

Q: What's red and hangs in trees?
A: A baby that has been hit by a snowblower.

Q: Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?
A: Because you get a womb with a view.

Q: How do you load a pile of dead babies on a truck?
A: Pitchforks.

Q: How do you load a pile of LIVE babies on a truck?
A: Pitchforks.

Q: What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
A: You can't fuck a rock.

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: 3/4 glass ginger ale, two scoops of ice cream and a scoop of dead baby.

Q: What's better than tying babies to your bumper and crashing?
A: Tying them to your tires and skidding.

Q: Why does the husband always bring boiling water at a birth?
A: In case the baby dies, he can make soup.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: He was stapled to the chicken.

Q: What's red and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A baby on a meathook.

Q: Why do babies have a weak spot in the top of their skulls?
A: So if there's a fire in the hospital, the nurses can carry them out six at a time.

Q: What is worse than running a baby over with a car?
A: Getting it out of the tires.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
A: You can put a bagel in the toaster... You have to put the baby in the oven.

Q. What is funnier than a dead baby?
A. A dead baby in a clown suit.

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